


How Victor Got His Boss Laid

by thekeyholder



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Frottage, Humor, M/M, Mutual Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 18:20:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13723359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekeyholder/pseuds/thekeyholder
Summary: Gabe and Victor are sick and tired of Oswald and Gordon's continuous fights. Gabe thinks they should discuss their differences over a nice dinner, while Victor believes they just "need to bone".





	How Victor Got His Boss Laid

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Gobblepot Week - Free Day. It's based on the famous ["BoOOOoone?!" scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mU7IUprPqag) in Brooklyn Nine Nine, thought it would be hilarious to have a gobblepot version. Ignores most things in S3. 
> 
> Many thanks to Nekomata58919 for the beta and skeleton_twins for her help!

Gabe was leaning against the counter, trying to solve a sudoku for the past ten minutes, but it was quite impossible due to the ruckus coming from the office. His boss and that Gordon fellow fought every chance they got. Most of the time it was over petty, insignificant things, and Gabe started to suspect that it was just a cockfight, an exhibition of power, never meant seriously, just an attempt to get in the other’s face.

 

“They’re back at it again, huh?” Victor asked as he strolled in, taking off his leather gloves.

 

“Yeah. Annoying. Maybe-”

 

Unfortunately, Gabe didn’t get to finish his sentence as the office door was thrown open, Gordon stalking out and Oswald on his heels, glaring at the back of the detective’s head as if he wanted to bore holes in it.

 

Gordon turned around, pointing his index finger at Oswald. “We’re not done yet, Cobblepot!”

 

Oswald didn’t seem intimidated by him, not in the least. He turned his nose up at the detective and sneered. “I’m looking forward to it!”

 

Gabe watched as his boss stood there, staring at Gordon’s departing figure, fists clenched and stance showing that he was 

ready to attack. Only once the detective was outside did he relax his posture and rub his forehead.

 

“James is becoming more stubborn with each day,” Oswald grumbled. “Gabe, could you bring a glass of that Merlot? Let’s talk in the office, Victor.”

 

* * *

 

 

Most people didn’t know, but Gabe was a sensitive, romantic man, who enjoyed even the sappiest movies and books. He’d got a taste for them from his nonna, who would watch soap operas while taking care of little Gabe, knitting on her sofa as the black and white images of the ladies and gentlemen left a strong impression on the little boy.

From the first moment he saw his boss and Gordon in the same room, it was evident that the two were just like couples in those love films, though they were hiding it quite well from the others. They were fighting, but like old married couples do, and all that lapel pulling and getting into each other’s personal space convinced Gabe that they were seeking any chance to touch each other. Vague plans started forming in his mind, but he didn’t want to rush anything. However, it seemed that someone would ruin them.

Oswald had just finished for the day at City Hall and he asked Gabe to bring the car to the entrance. After five minutes of waiting, Gabe got suspicious and he went back to the mayor's office. The cause for his boss’s tardiness was evident even before he reached the door: Gordon must have somehow sneaked inside the office after Gabe had left. The mobster shook his head as he got closer and noticed that Victor and Sarah, Oswald’s personal assistant, were listening with their ears to the door and giggling.

“Fighting again about those stupid taxes?”

“You bet.”

“We should tell Boss to ask the detective out.”

Sarah started giggling and Victor put his index finger to his lips, although he couldn’t hold back a smile either. “Nah, they’re just sexually frustrated.”

Gabe was about to scold them for their indiscreetness, when suddenly their expressions changed into panic, and they scrambled to get away from the door, Sarah pretending to admire the potted rubber fig in the corner while Victor took a seat on her desk. If Gabe didn’t know better, he’d have thought that the assassin was posing.

The door opened in the next moment. Oswald and Gordon walked into the waiting room, glaring at their audience.

“Let’s ask the others about this problem, shall we, James?”

The detective rolled his eyes, but explained the problem, how the new taxation levels City Hall proposed would negatively affect right those who didn’t need it, the poorest. Of course, then Oswald came with his counterarguments, but honestly, Gabe was already confused after Gordon’s first sentence. Victor was cleaning his nails with a knife, so Sarah was the only one really listening.

“Sir, I think Detective Gordon is actually right,” Sarah said, hesitating.

“You’re fired!”

Victor laughed. “Haha!”

“But Sir…”

Gordon smiled at Sarah, then turned to Oswald. “Don’t you dare fire her.” At the mayor’s grimace, Gordon continued: “See you around, Oswald.”

Gabe noticed the wistful look in his boss’s eyes as he watched Gordon leave the building and thought that maybe he had to throw precaution out the window, and slowly put the idea of dating the detective in his head.

“Boss, I don’t mean to be rude, but perhaps you should discuss things calmly with Detective Gordon, maybe over a nice dinner… I could book a table for you at The Edelweiss.”

Oswald narrowed his eyes, but he didn’t reject the idea outright, so Gabe considered that a small victory and went on. “You’ve both been working so hard and you must be stressed about this tax legislation…”

“Come on, Boss,” Victor interrupted. “The tax thing isn’t the problem. You two just need to bone.”

Gabe’s eyes widened and he let out an undignified sound.

Oswald’s voice was an octave higher than usually. “What did you say?”

“Don’t say it again,” Gabe whispered, panic washing over him.

Victor had the perfect poker face. “I said you two need to bone.”

Gabe knew in that moment that they were done for and started praying to God, Jesus, Mary and all the other saints, but he knew it was hopeless. Oswald’s eyes glinted like ice while his cheeks became red with fury.

“How. Dare. You, Victor, I AM YOUR BOSS!” His voice got ever louder, hands punctuating each word.

_ 5 minutes later _

“BOOOOONE?!” Oswald screamed from his office door, Gabe flinching and hugging himself, hoping that it would end soon. This was too much.

_ 10 minutes later _

“What happens in my bedroom, Zsasz, is none of your business,” Oswald declared in a calm tone.

Gabe was staring at the ceiling, while Victor just looked around at the crowd gathering around them, people laughing at them, happy that they could watch the drama unfold as the mayor’s hysterics weren’t directed towards them that day. Gabe could swear that he smelled popcorn. The bastards.

_ 21 minutes later _

“BoooOOOOOoooone?!”

And they were back to screaming. Gabe knew he was scarred for life.

_ 40 minutes later _

“Don’t ever speak to me like that again,” Oswald panted, finally done with his tantrum, locking himself in his office. Fortunately, the other people dispersed too.

Gabe had put his head on Sarah’s desk ten minutes before in the hopes of drowning Oswald’s voice out. He thought it would never end, but Victor seemed unphased as Gabe finally looked up.

“Why did you do that?”

“Dude was kinda pent up. Now he knows. Problem solved,” Victor said and made finger guns, waltzing out of the building as if his work was done.

This was a damn catastrophe and Gabe just wanted to die. He wasn’t sure if he could fix this.

 

* * *

 

 

Despite the tantrum he’d thrown at City Hall, Oswald did consider Victor’s words. In fact, they were all he could think of, ringing in his head. Even hours later, when he was sitting in his office at home and sipping fruit tea, Oswald couldn’t focus on the documents lying on his desk.

There was a knock at the door, then Gabe peeked in. “Boss, you’ve got a visitor. It’s Gordon.”

Oswald got up, tying his robe more tightly around himself. “Jim. A second visit in a single day? People are going to talk.”

Jim turned his head to the right, raising an eyebrow. “They already do anyway. I came to talk to you about that new law regarding arrests your council wants to instate.”

“Come, take a seat.”

The detective started talking and in the first minute Oswald could focus on what he was saying, but then his thoughts strayed away. He had contemplated Jim’s face many times, but he was still struck by his beauty in that moment. Jim had such a handsome face, a strong jawline and those gorgeous eyes, such a lovely shade of cornflower blue.

Oswald put his hand around his cup of tea, hiding his blushing cheeks behind it as he imagined what it would feel like sitting on Jim’s lap and kissing his lips. It wasn’t a new fantasy—Oswald’s mind often brought it up, but always in the safety of his bedroom. He desired Jim so badly in that moment that he was glad there was a desk between them.

“Do you agree with that, Oswald?”

Suddenly realising that he had been daydreaming and not paying attention to Jim, embarrassment washed over him, especially given the things he was daydreaming about. “Yes, yes, of course, Jim.”

However, it soon became evident that it was the wrong thing to say.

“Did you just agree to what I said?” Jim asked, eyes widening.

“Er… yes?”

“You never do that!” Jim exclaimed, getting up from his seat.

“T-that’s not true.”

“Are you coming down with something? Do you have fever?” Jim asked, stepping closer and putting his hand on Oswald’s forehead.

“I-I… don’t think so,” Oswald stuttered, blinking up at the detective’s concerned face. Jim’s fingers felt slightly cool on his skin, his touch very comforting.

“Don’t lie to me. Your eyes are glistening and you’re drinking tea. You should go and take a bath, then go to bed.”

“I will do as I please, detective,” Oswald replied, glaring at Jim.

To his surprise Jim smiled at him. “Talking back, that’s more like you.”

Oswald was transfixed by the way Jim licked his lips and he suddenly had a better idea of where that tongue should be. The intensity of his thought and desire made Oswald blush even harder, which in turn made Jim look him up and down suspiciously. Finally, the detective went to the door, then turned back.

“You should go to bed, Oswald.”

“Yes, and you should go and bother someone else, Jim.”

They both tried not to smile, but failed miserably. Oswald let out out a distressed sigh; he needed to control his lustful thoughts.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day, Oswald was glad to finally leave his office in the late afternoon. He’d had several meetings and the one with the council members proved to be particularly draining. He wanted nothing more than to relax with a glass of wine.

Oswald let the polite smile he plastered on his face slip as he entered the empty elevator, sighing in relief as he leaned more on his cane. However, just before the doors closed, there was a hand and then a familiar navy blue suit. Jim Gordon fought his way through the metal doors, surprise lighting his eyes up for a moment.

“Oswald. Do you feel better today?”

The gangster glanced at Jim’s face, but he saw no trace of sarcasm there. “Yes, thank you. Just exhausted by endless meetings.”

“Thought you enjoyed them.” Jim’s tone was completely serious, but when Oswald looked at his profile, there was a smile lurking at the corner of his lips.

“Oh yes, it’s always so delightful being in Councillor Sully’s presence. Such a pleasure listening to him drone on and on about meaningless things. Truly a dream come true.”

Jim snorted. “I don't envy you. Sounds like you need to relax.” There was a brief, yet somehow pregnant pause which made Oswald look up, and indeed, it seemed as if Jim struggled with his next words. “Maybe we could -"

But he couldn't finish his sentence as suddenly the elevator jolted and stopped moving altogether.

“For god’s sake!” Oswald exclaimed, pushing various buttons with increasing annoyance. “This cannot be happening today!”

He couldn't get stuck with Jim, he couldn't be in his presence. Oswald was sure that one glance would be enough to make his mask of indifference crumble. Certainly, he knew Jim didn't hold any kind of affection for him, and Oswald had managed to carve that fact into his heart, never forgetting about it, but he could only be so strong.

Oswald started banging on the elevator doors with his cane, cold sweat breaking out on his forehead. “Open the doors! Your mayor is trapped inside!”

“Hey, no need to panic,” Jim said quietly. “See, there's this button here to call someone who’ll help us.”

Maybe it was only an accidental touch, but Jim brushed his fingers against Oswald's hand as he reached out. The gesture and the calm tone with which the detective described the problem to the person who replied strangely soothed Oswald's mind, allowing him to take deep breaths.

“Five minutes and we'll get out,” Jim announced and stayed close to Oswald, which the mayor assumed was out of some civic duty of reassuring panic-stricken citizens, even if said citizen was an enemy in the detective’s mind.

“Thank you, James.” Oswald expected the detective to grunt in response, as he did so many times before, but he actually nodded, looking at Oswald with something that he would have called concern on someone else's face. But that was impossible… 

Victor and Gabe’s words rang in Oswald's head, but he doubted that Jim felt anything beyond annoyance and hatred. But then why did he look so softly? Oswald had to try for himself, to get this silly idea out of his mind. He cast his glance downwards and let his voice be stifled by his emotions.

“I mean it, I am glad you're here.” Oswald placed his left hand on Jim’s chest, swallowing as he finally got up the courage to look up at Jim’s face. It was a bold move to touch the detective so intimately, but he needed to know whether it was disgust in his eyes or maybe something less heartbreaking. “I think I may be slightly claustrophobic.”

Oswald let his fingers glide down Jim’s suit jacket, watching for his reaction. Instead of a slap or a push, Jim watched him carefully, expression unchanged except for the way his eyes crinkled at the corners.

“It's alright, nothing is going to happen. I'm here,” Jim said, placing his hand over Oswald's, the one that was on the cane, curling his fingers so that he covered Oswald's completely, stroking the soft skin.

“You work too hard,” Jim whispered. “I meant to ask before… maybe we could-”

“Jim, I…” Oswald interrupted him, because he knew in that moment that Jim not only wasn’t indifferent to him, but the detective didn’t even hate him. 

Maybe something would have happened—Oswald saw the shadow of intention on Jim’s face—maybe Jim would have pressed closer and pushed him against the metallic wall, but in that exact moment, the elevator started and finally moved downwards.

Oswald sighed which made Jim take his hand off Oswald’s, but he didn’t move away, hovered in his personal space. Oswald didn’t dare to look up until the elevator finally dinged, afraid that Jim would ask something to which it would be impossible for him to say no, even though he wanted to do it. In the end, he pushed Jim aside gently, hurrying outside without looking back as his heart thumped in a crazy rhythm.

“Oswald!” Jim called after him and Oswald closed his eyes as he hurried inside the car.

 

* * *

 

 

Once he made it home, Oswald breathed in with relief as he took off his coat and undid his tie. He felt as if his head was about to explode with all the thoughts whirling inside. As confusing and shocking as it sounded, Jim not only didn’t mind his touches, but he actually sought intimacy.

This wasn’t what Oswald was used to; the Detective Gordon he knew could be rather aggressive and didn’t shy away from physical violence either. All those harsh words, followed by rough handling or lapel-grabbing, Oswald didn’t really look beyond them, didn’t let his hope soar, he couldn’t. There had been too much disappointment in his life, and if he attributed more to the softer looks and occasional gentle touches, then he was a fool.

It seemed as though his mind didn't want to deal with all the conflicting thoughts, so Oswald fell asleep on his couch in the living room. 

A couple of hours later, however, Oswald was woken up by loud bangs.

“Open up or I will tear this door down!”

Confused, Oswald stumbled into the hallway where Gabe was trying to keep Jim outside.

“Let me in, I just want to see that he’s alright!” Jim snarled.

“He’s sleeping, I told you already!”

Oswald was annoyed by being woken up, but he smiled at the image of Jim struggling against Gabe, who was much bigger than him.

“Not anymore. Gabe, let the detective in, otherwise I’m afraid he’ll disturb everyone in a ten mile radius with his racket.”

Jim arranged his suit jacket, throwing an offended look towards Gabe.

“You can leave us alone, Gabe.”

Oswald noticed that his bodyguard was hesitant to leave. “Are you sure, boss?”

“Of course. You can go home actually.” He was afraid of being alone with Jim, but not because of the reasons Gabe believed. 

Finally, after Gabe left, Jim got closer. “Sorry. Just wanted to see if you were alright. You left rather in a hurry.”

Oswald became slightly flustered as he watched Jim, the way his blue eyes searched his face. “Come on in.”

Jim entered the room, and like a good detective he instantly spied the discarded jacket and tie, as well as the state of the couch. Oswald went to his cabinet with the whiskey. “Would you like to drink something?”

“No, no, I just- What was that, Oswald? You left without an explanation. Did you get into some shady business?”

Oswald stood unmoving. “What? No, where did you get that idea from?”

“You’re hiding something, Oswald, I can feel it,” Jim grunted as he strode to Oswald, towering over him.

“You have an overactive imagination, James. I am not hiding anything!”

Not unusually, Jim put his hand on Oswald shoulder, shaking him as if he thought that would make the gangster speak. He looked so irritated that Oswald suddenly burst into laughter, and since Jim was barely two inches away, he saw the confusion on his face.

“What's so funny?”

“Have you noticed that every time we talk we end up arguing with each other?” Oswald asked, serious.

“I… well, we’re on opposite sides, it's normal,” Jim replied with a frown.

“Not necessarily. In fact, my men think there's a different reason for our continuous fights.”

Jim glanced at Oswald's lips before asking: “And what would that be?”

Oswald blushed; he didn't think he'd be able to say it, even though he was getting hard just because of Jim’s proximity. He certainly couldn't use those crude words.

“Victor thinks we should… get to know each other.” Noticing that the detective didn't understand the hint, Oswald clarified. “Intimately.”

Jim seemed to consider his words, then slid his thigh between Oswald's. “What do  _ you _ think?”

Even though Jim could definitely feel that Oswald was interested, Oswald liked it that he asked for his opinion. He smoothed a wrinkle on Jim’s lapel. “I’d say we try it and see where it leads.”

Jim didn’t hesitate, he cradled Oswald’s head and kissed him with fervour, eager to test Victor’s theory. As Oswald parted his lips and let Jim’s tongue start teasing his own, shivers ran down his spine and his hands grabbed onto Jim’s coat at his back, his grip as tight as his need was great.

“How about I unbutton your shirt?” Jim whispered as the tip of his fingers caressed Oswald’s neck, waiting for a reply before he proceeded.

Oswald was glad that he had taken off his coat and tie, so that Jim could move to other layers. “Excellent idea, James.” 

With each newly undone button, Jim’s lips left soft kisses on Oswald's pale skin, the detective closing his eyes with a smile as he reached the last one. Oswald was stroking Jim’s hair, then brought him back up so he could taste Jim again, getting dizzy just from the way Jim smiled at him before they kissed again.

It wasn’t long before Jim started rolling his hips forward and Oswald moaned into the hot air between them, arching his back against the wall. He couldn't believe that Jim was just as aroused as he was, and eager to receive more of Oswald's attention, leaning into his touch, whining for more. 

“Let’s go to the sofa,” Oswald suggested, and took Jim by his hand.

As soon as Oswald found a comfortable position, Jim followed, his body fitting perfectly with Oswald’s.

“Why did you ran away from the elevator?” Jim whispered as he rotated his hips, his forearms placed beside Oswald's head.

“I can't, I can't tell you.”

“Oswald.” Jim kissed along his jaw, impishly delivering another thrust. “Come on, tell me.”

“I realised that you might not be completely indifferent to me and I got scared.” Oswald clung to Jim, one hand carding the hair at the back of his head, the other tightening his hold on Jim’s back.

“Silly. I wanted to ask you out for a drink. Was hoping you'd invite me here instead.”

“For the free booze?”

“Cheeky,” Jim commented, savoring Oswald's moans as they rubbed their erections against each other's. 

Not really sure about what he was doing, but knowing that he needed more, Oswald sneaked a hand to Jim’s belt buckle.

The detective seemed pleased with Oswald's initiative and helped him undo the belt. Oswald had to swallow as he unzipped Jim's trousers and tugged them down, watching hungrily the outline of his cock through his boxers.

While he was deliberating whether he should touch it or not, Jim undid Oswald's zipper, and he didn't hesitate to rub Oswald's dick through his silk underwear, his index finger teasing the spot where Oswald's cock leaked precome. 

“Jim… take them off, please.”

Soon, their underwear was tugged down and they were making out while undulating against each other, creating friction as their cocks rubbed up and down against each other. Oswald’s hands went to Jim’s ass, the two rotund cheeks fitting them perfectly, kneading them and pushing them down, to bring their bodies closer.

“Oswald!” Jim cried out, making the mayor very pleased with himself at having caused such a reaction. “You’re not playing fair.”

Jim looked down at Oswald with faux irritation, a lock of hair falling over his sweaty forehead. Oswald bit his lower lip, struck by Jim’s beauty: his rosy cheeks, kiss-swollen lips and the obvious joy in his eyes. He reached out to stroke Jim’s cheekbone with his thumb.

“I don’t play fair, detective.”

Oswald only had a moment to admire Jim’s smile before he was attacked with quick pecks to his cheek, nose and chin. After several moments of giggling, he finally pulled Jim back to kiss him properly, mapping out the detective’s muscular arms, prominent even through his shirt. 

Oswald tried to anchor himself in this new, wonderful reality and gave himself over to pleasure, enjoying Jim’s weight and warmth. The detective decided to slide down, pampering Oswald with many kisses and nips, drawing out moans from Oswald. Jim enjoyed the sounds, especially when Oswald whispered his name, drinking them up from the gangster’s parted lips.

  
  


Jim broke the kiss and got up, Oswald’s hands reaching out. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not leaving,” Jim reassured Oswald, straddling his thighs. “Just changing positions.”

Oswald moaned as Jim collected the precome dripping on his cock and tugged it a few times, making his movement slicker.

“Good?” Jim asked, licking his lip as he watched for Oswald’s reactions.

“Yes, please don’t stop!” Oswald closed closed his eyes, Jim’s fingers on his penis too overwhelming.

Jim smiled. “I want to try something.”

Oswald had to sit up as the friction against his cock increased, moaning when he saw that Jim had now both members in his hand, rubbing them up and down slowly.

“Oh, fuck.”

“You’re so hot,” Jim said, bucking his hips as if he couldn't keep his lust at bay anymore.

Oswald had to huff at that, because Jim was definitely the most beautiful and arousing thing he’d ever seen, and somehow he found Oswald hot, which made him roll his hips forward, pushing against Jim’s cock and fingers.

“Steady there,” Jim whispered, his other hand slipping under Oswald’s shirt and settling over his right hip. 

Oswald appreciated the soothing gesture, but he knew that they wouldn’t resist for long. The sexual tension had been building up for years and both were ready to finally ignore the conflicting feelings surrounding them and just enjoy each other, as they secretly always wanted to. The head of Jim’s dick was rubbing deliciously against his, sending shivers throughout his body and making his cock leak.

Jim’s hand sped up and Oswald stroked his strong thighs, trying to keep his eyes open to capture all the expressions passing over Jim’s face, committing them to his memory. All the silly reasons they had been fighting over the years were now millions of lightyears away from his current thoughts, all banished from his mind by a single smile from Jim.

“Kiss me,” Oswald blurted, reaching for Jim’s arms and helping him get back down.

Jim complied eagerly, careful so he didn’t jostle Oswald’s leg. He blushed as Oswald cupped his face, making the gangster’s chest fill with hot affection, Jim’s lips slotting over his gently. The kiss became more fiery with each second, especially as Jim resumed jerking them with fast motions, pleasure gathering under Oswald’s navel. 

Oswald held onto Jim, staring into his beautiful eyes, waiting for the fragment of a second when his pupil would widen, followed by the extasis spreading throughout his body. It only took a few tugs before both men reached their climax, Jim holding Oswald as he panted hotly against the detective’s lips, moaning his name. After catching their breath, Oswald kissed Jim for long minutes, then snorted as he felt the mess on his stomach.

“Let’s go and clean up,” Jim said and helped Oswald onto his feet.

 

* * *

 

 

Later, when they got into bed, clean and relaxed after a hot shower, Oswald placed his head on Jim’s shoulder. Jim lazily petted Oswald’s hair in a soothing rhythm.

“Mmh, if you keep doing that, I’m going to fall asleep,” Oswald murmured.

“You should, you’ve had a tiring day.”

Oswald nuzzled closer to Jim. “You took away my last bit of energy, Detective Gordon.”

“How so, Mayor Cobblepot?” There was amusement in his voice and when Jim slowly tipped Oswald’s chin upwards, so that they could look at each other, he saw that Jim was smiling.

“You need to ask? After what we did on the couch and then in the shower?”

“I didn't want to assume.”

Oswald shook his head, leaning forward to peck Jim’s lips. He took back his place on Jim's chest, sighing contently.

Several minutes passed and Oswald was close to falling asleep when Jim quietly asked. “So I guess Zsasz was right?”

“Well, I don't know about you, but I don't feel particularly argumentative at the moment,” Oswald murmured against Jim’s skin.

Jim’s hold tightened around him. “Sleep well.”

 

* * *

 

 

Gabe arrived to the mansion with a lot of trepidation. The previous evening he kept glancing at his phone, expecting a call from his boss any second. Gordon had seemed to be in a fit, what if they had murdered each other? He shouldn't have left, damn it. No wonder his dreams were all so agitated.

When he entered the mansion, he looked around carefully, half expecting broken vases and blood splatters everywhere. Instead, he found Zsasz by the table laid with breakfast for their boss, picking strawberries and popping them in his mouth.

“What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for the bird to descend. Got work to do.”

“He hasn't-? What if something happened to him? Gordon dropped in yesterday.”

Victor choked on a strawberry, coughing, so Gabe patted his back.

“Thanks,” Victor whispered.

Before he could say anything else, both became aware of humming coming from the stairs, Oswald joining them with a huge smile. Gabe was staring at him for a few seconds before he came back to his wits.

“Morning, boss. Did you and Gordon manage to talk through the administrative issues?”

“Nope,” Oswald replied as he looked through his mail.

Then Zsasz had to open his big mouth. “Did you and Gordon bone?”

“Yep.”

With that, Oswald retreated to his office while Victor laughed his ass off.

Gabe was staring at the carpet, numb. Victor sneaked beside him with an evil grin. “Boss and Gordon had sex. I think you should get used to moans and groans from now on instead of fighting.”

“Leave me alone, Victor!” Gabe cried out and fled to the kitchen, while the assassin was laughing at him.

That scenario was terrifying. No matter, he had survived worse, he could deal with Oswald's love life. Maybe. 

Nevertheless, Gabe was resolute that he was going to ask for a raise. And some good earplugs. 


End file.
